My job kicks ASS!

Wow. When's the last time you hear anything *close* to that coming outta my mouth?

Can't remember the last time I had such a blast at my job -- while actually doing my job... cool people, amazing opportunities (like, just about anywhere in the States for sure -- and when the dogs get their international canine passports, the world is my oyster) and the best desk in the building.

Once again, Life Is Good (despite the sexy boy occasionally making me slightly batty, but I digress).

Finally I'm learning to want what I have and actually appreciate it when I've got it. It's only taken, like, a gazillion tears, (at least!) four bouts with a completely broken heart, thousands of angry shouting matches with countless innocent bystanders and innumerable painful lessons.

Like Lisa Simpson who keeps yelling "Ouch! Quit it!" over and over again when Bart keeps hitting her.

I hope this epiphany doesn't simply mean I'm getting old. Cuz I'd be oh so happy (and completely willing!!) to trade in some of that hard-earned wisdom for as many "Good Parking Karma" points, "Hail Mary's" & "Our Father's" it would take to shave up to 10 years off my age (or at least my driver's license.)

Oh! The things I'd completely fuck up again...

Bay Area home prices set new record

"The median price of single-family houses sold in the nine Bay Area counties rose to a record $622,000 in April, up nearly 20 percent from a year earlier."

I remember when the median price for a 900 sf shoebox with a postage stamp sized yard was "only" half a million dollars.

Can someone please explain to me how home prices keep going up while the number of people with jobs keeps going down? I mean, sure... I can totally understand how people who get laid off might want to get into real estate investments (I know I did when I got laid off... your natural reaction is to look for stability in an industry with growth potential... everyone's gotta live somewhere, right?) but I don't understand where they're getting the money to keep buying more and more expensive home if they're not working.

The logical conclusion being that the entire Bay Area is mortgaging their children's college education and eventually the bubble will burst and bottom falls out.

Random things I need in no particular order.

• Cheap monthly parking anywhere downtown SJ.
• An automated, efficient way to productionalize the whole data conversion workflow. In particular, the extraction & capture of metadata from images where there is none provided or if present, may be inconsistent or non-standard. Solving a challenge like this requires sophisticated technology applying layout and document analysis algorithms invented and developed by scary-smart people. People smart enough to know their technology should be - no, must be - able to learn from a programmed set of assumptions and organically increase it's own program intelligence learning through fine-tuning the logic and rule sets as the data it receives evolves and existing assumptions no longer compute. It must provide a standardized output that is compliant with emerging standards in order to provide any downstream value where it matters most: relevant, consistent and successful search results. Doing so makes users come back and advertisers see clear returns on their investment. Chicken feeds egg. Egg feeds chicken. Everyone goes home fat and happy.
• A new bed & dresser to replace the "significantly water damaged" I formerly loved to death until Public Storage had a roofing issue. Upside? PS insurance company buys me new stuff.
• A salon visit to trim, wax and paint various areas of my body.

Knowing full well that my needs are important to no one but me (which, surprisingly enough, can't be said for Bipolar Barbie… but I digress), I'll happily settle for a salon recommendation, where to find deals on bedroom furniture, cheap SJ parking and/or the names of any people who are so smart they scare you.

Thank God I'm a dog person...

Because Crazy Cat Lady Action Figures are every single woman's boogey man.