What is it about shopping...

... that makes getting your heart broken - whether it's just a little, like the brief but slightly painful heart-squeeze you feel when you wake up and realize that "He's just not that into you." - or a lot, like the physically painful sensation that devours your heart during a messy, soul crushing divorce - easier to bear somehow?

I think it's the personal attention you get from the salespeople. I mean, yeah - of course I know full well that it's their job to fawn and fuss over me when I'm in the dressing room, but when you're low and feeling unwanted, you'll eat every little bit of that right up and beg for more. More sizes, more colors, more accessories - anything to keep it going until your self esteem's band-aid is replaced with a fresh one.

And if they're commission, the ego stroking, confidence boosting Salesperson Standards like "Of course your butt doesn't look big in those jeans!! Honey, if I were a straight man, I'd do you right here on the floor, your butt looks so hot! Like, JLo-Booty Hot! You should buy a pair in every color!" can restore enough of your confidence to actually wear them out in public... just a test run to see if he's right.

So, what do you do when you get your heart nicked?

Hit the Nordie's Half-Yearly Shoe Sale, of course! I'm off to the mall...

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