6/24/2009

Why does AARP want me so bad?!

Dear AARP,

Hi there. You don't know me (clearly... as I will painstakingly point out in this email) but my name is Jaimee. I am a

- female
- US citizen
- college educated
- voting
- gainfully employed
- pet owning
- renter
- with an income of more than ${okay, this is really none of your business}
- who doesn't own a car
- and has no dependents.

Nice to meet you. Now, the reason I am writing to you is this... I am also 37 YEARS OLD.

So please, for the love of God and all that is Holy, STOP SENDING ME AARP CARDS soliciting my membership!!

I wonder - do your current 50+ year-old members have any idea how much money you seem to be throwing away on the expensive marketing pieces (nice slick laminated AARP card, btw!) you REPEATEDLY send to people who are NOT IN YOUR qualified DEMOGRAPHIC? Seriously, this is the SECOND one I've received in less than a month. Where are you getting my mailing address from?? Do the people in your data center verify anything other than a valid mailing address?

If I were old enough to belong to AARP I would have serious misgivings about giving my hard earned retirement or pension money to a company too stupid to stop inviting people to become a member who are over a decade too young to even qualify. I'm going to tell my Dad to think twice before he renews his membership next year.

I mean, how much additional money is it costing you to process the non-qualifying applications of people you mistakenly send these expensive mails to? How much is your time, Mr or Mrs Email Reader, worth right now? Because, unless you are an automated response system, I know that your time is worth money - even if you delete this message instead of forwarding it to the CEO (which I highly recommend because I can't imagine they are aware of degree of incompetency demonstrated by your company's marketing department).

I sure hope things change before I turn 50 so I thoughtfully evaluate whether or not I should join your organization. Until then - STOP sending me these fucking cards!

Thanks and have a great day,

Jaimee

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im only 25 and they send me stuff in the mail too.
The hell!?

jesse said...

You don't own a vehicle? How the hell do you manage, and who's suv was that you were photographed in if not yours.. you were driving!

*sigh* said...

The SUV was mine but when I moved back to San Francisco I didn't need or want it anymore - I got tired of spending more on city parking tickets than car payments or, more importantly, shoes.

Now? I take the train or cabs and have plenty of money left in my budget for shoes. ;)

Anonymous said...

You have a super sense of humor,*sigh* Thanks for the laughs...I needed them. Good luck to you in getting removed from THAT list.;)

Henry said...

2/27/2010
You must of passed the DNA test...
I read that the AARP got a grant for $18 billion dollar ?
And there are around 150 thousand people that pay over $500.00 per month to AARP for Medicare ?
I have been going to a great deal of trouble to show that this whole Health Care Package is a $100 Trillion dollar package.
Sooooo, this is why the AARP is in bed with the Government, wow, Welcome to the first steps for Force Pay in a split petition. wow ! this is what I get for staying out of issues for over 30 years...

This story is one of thousands of people who have been dumped on by Insurance Companies. So One day on a blog site i asked the big why... Why force pay into a failed system of Insurance Companies and at the same time tax that all ready burden system ?
It is because of a dirty little secret. This health care system is a $100 trillion dollar bread maker per year, and the tax lie was the secret of the 10% per cent tax across the board, so where does this secret tax money go ?....,....
I can show on page 100 at our site a conflict of information of numbers released by Officials, and it looks like a lot like borrowing from Paul to pay Petter... until I noted the balance of a number with just a top ten list of Health Care Insurance Companies, and this threw my mind off,
so at a kind of a low ball figure what is 100 milliom Health Care members x $100.00 per month x 12 months ?
Then I pulled a list of several hundred HCIC COs. It is stated that over 45 million people are not covered. So I did this at $5.00 per month for the poor x 12 ?
And last for this blog, I pulled the top 1000 Companies that face force pay. Please remember their are around 373 to 400 million people that are legal in the U.S. and around 117 million illeagle........
Soooo, some body is taking cookies out of the jar, ohhh yea the are only around 250 million people old enough to work at a job, but according to lay offs there are around 173 million + people still working....
Hmmmm I got a little more work to do,
Henry Massingale
FASC Concepts in and for Pay It forward
www.fascmove.mysite.com on google page 1 american dream official site.

Henry said...

Shoot I am sorry for the typ o- this is or correct address and also it was $18 million and not billion
Henry Massingale
FASC Concepts in and for Pay It forward
www.fascmovement.mysite.com on google page 1 american dream official site.

Annette Steiner said...

I can tell you how to get off a mailing list, anyones in fact, real quick....Cost them money.

All that mail has some sort of Business Reply Envelope where they pay the postage for its return. Contracts with the post office, they HAVE to pay for any return mail using those prepaid envelopes. And the amount is higher than regular postage.

The max amount the postal service will take is 70 lbs with a combined width, height and gurth of 108 inches..

So simply take one of their business reply envelopes, use some shipping tape and apply it to a cinder block, which are still fairly cheap. That will run them $30.00 or so in return postage.

Do that a couple of times, and they will get the message.

You can write them all the letters you want to get off of a mailing list, and that never works.. this does...

If the keep sending you stuff, switch to using an old bald tire..
a Pickup truck sized one..they get the message fairly quick.

Not only does it work, it gives one a feeling of satisfaction.

Also considering that these places all sell mailing lists back and forth, believe me.. it will get you off of a lot of other people's mailing list real fast..

a bald 31 x 10.50 truck tire costs them about $75 or $80.. and by postal contract, they have to pay for it..whether they like it or not.

I'll guarantee this works real well..

I learned this off of a lady who was a customer of mine about 10 years ago. She was trying to get off of some company's mailing list, and after a zillion letters to them, nothing worked.. her son who worked for the Post Office told her about this.

So she tried it several times.. Not only did she get off that mailing list, but a whole bunch of others..plus she was rewarded with a scathing letter from that company's president.

Which she promptly framed and put on the wall in her office.
gotta love happy endings like that one.

Ac said...

I can tell you how to get off a mailing list, anyones in fact, real quick....Cost them money.

All that mail has some sort of Business Reply Envelope where they pay the postage for its return. Contracts with the post office, they HAVE to pay for any return mail using those prepaid envelopes. And the amount is higher than regular postage.

The max amount the postal service will take is 70 lbs with a combined width, height and gurth of 108 inches..

So simply take one of their business reply envelopes, use some shipping tape and apply it to a cinder block, which are still fairly cheap. That will run them $30.00 or so in return postage.

Do that a couple of times, and they will get the message.

You can write them all the letters you want to get off of a mailing list, and that never works.. this does...

If the keep sending you stuff, switch to using an old bald tire..
a Pickup truck sized one..they get the message fairly quick.

Not only does it work, it gives one a feeling of satisfaction.

Also considering that these places all sell mailing lists back and forth, believe me.. it will get you off of a lot of other people's mailing list real fast..

a bald 31 x 10.50 truck tire costs them about $75 or $80.. and by postal contract, they have to pay for it..whether they like it or not.

I'll guarantee this works real well..

I learned this off of a lady who was a customer of mine about 10 years ago. She was trying to get off of some company's mailing list, and after a zillion letters to them, nothing worked.. her son who worked for the Post Office told her about this.

So she tried it several times.. Not only did she get off that mailing list, but a whole bunch of others..plus she was rewarded with a scathing letter from that company's president.

Which she promptly framed and put on the wall in her office.
gotta love happy endings like that one.

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