Fresh blow...

Today, while scrolling through my phonebook trying to find a number, I saw Dave's number and felt a fresh blow of shock and sadness that someone so young and goodhearted is gone.

I can't do justice to describing how it feels to see someone's phone number in your cell phone and have it hit you that you can never reach them again. Ever. And I don't mean "Oh, I can't ever call that guy again cuz he stood me up" or "I never called him back after that drunken grope-fest I'm mercifully maintaining only the fuzziest of details about"... I mean having the thought slam home into your heart that they'll never answer any phone again.

That's happened to me twice this year, but I'm still not talking or thinking about the first.