His Royal Lame Duckness

What's better than a bunch of morose Democrats staring down the barrel of another 4 years?

Watching the tingle of life coming back into their limbs when they realize it's the positively-absolutely-100%-moneyback-guaranteedy last 4 years.

What? What's so funny? Oh, you're laughing at the "money back guarantee"? Why? We've all got our Social Security, man... we're guaranteed to get our money back when we retire. Shit, we're set for life... nothin funny about the guaranteed, take-it-to-the-bank promise that we'll be getting back all that hard earned cash we've been forking over since we washed dishes and mowed lawns before we were old enough to know about child labor laws the minute we turn 56.

I'm sorry, what'd he say? I couldn't hear over all of the democratic snorts of derision and fits of grumbling during His Royal Duck Lameness' State of the Oligarchy Address... Something about people my age being more likely to see a UFO than Social Security?

I think I'll run for president in '08. I've never seen a UFO.