What a tumultuous year...

My life has run the gamut over the past 12 months and just when it seems to have evened out I find myself in a roommate situation with a dear friend who is some sort of weird combination of all of the bad/crazy ways my mom and dad have been. I mean, let me preface this by saying I love her to death -- she's been there for me in ways not even my own blood has been, she's the only person who can crack me up so hard my stomach hurts in seconds and she's just a really genuine, generous and great friend to me.

That said, there are also things about her that are just now surfacing that make me question the wisdom of continuing to be roommates with her and maintain my newfound sanity and peace. For starters, she's an angry (very angry), bitter, caustic and borderline narcissistic person. After what I went through with my friendship with Alisha, I just can't get close to anyone who makes it all about them all of the time. My friend doesn't -- not to that level, anyway -- but there are times when I'm like "Hi! Other people have feelings and a heartbeat too, okay?".

I'd say 90% of the time I find myself ducking her sour mood (not *always* sour - just completely unpredictable and it seems to change frequently. Going from 0 - 60 in seconds.) and walking around on eggshells. She's really demanding. She "asks" you to do some chore around the house but then totally tells you how and when to actually do it. (Remniscent of my father, there.) And then at some point in the future when she's on the warpath about something, tells you how you did it wrong or, more likely, not enough of it.

She's extremely needy and lonely and if I'm at home and just chilling in my room with the door shut, she'll come knock and it and ask if I want to watch TV. Or complain about something that happened to her in the course of her day. Which is fine - and I don't mind that - unless I'm trying to dodge her dark, angry moods because they suck the happiness out of me.

And let's say I do go out and watch TV with her... I have to be careful not to let the dogs cuddle with me because they might make too much noise licking their paws or I might block her line of vision bending over to snuggle Nichi quietly. It's always something. Always.

And frankly, I've been pussyfooting around all of this for so long that I've become some other person when I'm at home. Which explains why I've increasingly tried to find more and more excuses to get out of the house and away from all of that tension and drama. I drag my feet coming home after work -- something I haven't done to this extent since my marriage started to go south. Explain that, Dr. Freud.